Tears For Dad (a post Father’s Day poem)

PawPaw93I didn’t want to say goodbye
I would gladly have spent more sleepless nights at your bedside;
I know, quite selfish of me to hold on so,
But you were my best friend.
I wanted more time with you
I wanted you to tell me more of how life was when you were young.
With you I was able to live through decades I had never seen,
I could listen to you and imagine life simpler, maybe
without as much chaos and stress as I sometimes feel.

You were my connection to family members I never knew,
those family relationships of which death had robbed me;
When you recounted exchanges with your dad and your mother,
and when you remembered times with your older sisters and brothers;
suddenly those old gray-scale photographs were full of color
and I could see smiles in expressionless faces.

But, no more now; I must content myself
with my own memories that are beginning to fade;
you are yet alive there.
And now I feel such a need
to somehow immortalize you in my words;
foolish me,
I know you’ve already done that by your love to so many;
Yet, how will my little offspring know what a wonderful person you were,
I must no longer keep the wonderful relationship we had to myself,
I must share the warmth, joy and love knowing you has brought to me,
I love you, my dear departed Dad, you are still the flickering light glowing within my soul.

-Donald R. Sansbury, 2013

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Choosing To Live On

Widow and Child, 1/9th-Plate Daguerreotype, Ci...

Widow and Child, 1/9th-Plate Daguerreotype, Circa 1850 (Photo credit: lisby1)

One weeps, blinks hard, and then swallows;
Another weeps and weeps, and chooses to wallow,
wandering why life becomes so hollow;
One weeps and smiles down the path she must follow.

It’s not that the she no longer feels pain,
She’s chosen to see sunshine as well as the rain;
She’s found there’s so much more to gain
by going on when life is no longer the same.

She lives for a child and what’s in their future,
Lost her husband, needed something to live for;
Oh, she weeps for him plenty, that’s for sure,
But, love and life for her child, that’s pure!

I don’t really know her except for her blog,
Decided reading it, I’d follow along;
No, she’s not some siren singing a song,
I, too, one day decided life must go on…

-Donald R. Sansbury, 2013

~special thanks for inspiration to Dagmara Almand and her personal words that so described what I’ve witnessed in my sisters, my Lady, and others~

The Tax Man Cometh! (tanka)

The Iceman Cometh (1960 TV production)

The tax man cometh!

April Fifteenth, tax deadline!

I’ve heard and I sigh,

“Nothing in life is certain

but death and taxes. Why fight?”

-Donald R. Sansbury, 2013

Gone, Yet Here (Sonnet for Dad)

An old man gone remains here still,PAPA SANSBURY
Though only in some minds;
A hundred hearts retain the thrill
His love bestowed their lives.
He lived here ninety years plus three,
Then moved to yonder shore;
Where his bride from their teenage years,
Moved fourteen years before.
Though yonder those two lovers joined,
They both yet here remain;
their blood beats strong in ten they borne,
Plus hearts that from those sprang.
An old man’s gone yet he lives on,
My heart’s just one such home.

-Donald R. Sansbury, 2013

The Sadness of Emotionless Funerals

I’m to bury a good friend Saturday. I’m sad, she was so much like my mother. Actually, I will not bury her. I will ‘officiate’ at her funeral. Probably not so in this case, but I’ve officiated at some of the most somber and emotionally sanitized events called ‘modern christian funerals’ in this new century. I personally miss some of the more honest openness with emotions I witnessed years ago. As I write this I am dealing with my own feelings relating to my dear friend’s passing. I will, of course, be the picture of  professional decorum for the sake of her family and the church I pastor as we bury one of its most treasured members.

I do consider it such an honor to be asked to participate in any loved one’s funeral. My expected role in most modern funerals is to Continue reading